We all know there are things we don’t want to hear in the middle of the moment, so it makes sense that there are some things you shouldn’t say during s3x.

You want to avoid embarrassing moments at all costs because s3x itself has the potential for considerable discomfort.

So try not to think about that list the next time you do this, because if you do, you’re more likely to say one of those things at random. I’m sorry for that.

1 Your Ex’s Name

Needless to say of course – actually try not to use other people’s names, period.

2 Never say “s3x”

It sounds too clinical, cold and weird, and not even s3xy.

3 “Don’t worry, this rash is nothing.”

I think that goes without saying, right?

4 Do you believe in God?

There is a time and a place for such questions, but it is not one of them in s3x.

5 “Say my name – no, just say my name.”

It’s never going to be as s3xy as you think, and it’s not something you should say during s3x unless you’re having spontaneous bouts of amnesia.

6 “Who are you again?”

Oh, oh, no, that’s bad – no one wants to hear about it.

7 “I need a cold shower now.”

I laughed out loud but oh my god this is so cruel!

8 “May I meet your mother?”

It’s probably the fastest libido killer ever – avoid talking about your mom in general.

9 “Go and paste… Oh – logged in?

I’m actually bad, but if you have to say it, say so – it won’t really be good, but at least it’s honest, and honesty sometimes wins over good.

10 “Let’s get this over with.”

The thing is, it really can happen, you may feel compelled to ask, and you certainly can – but there might be a slightly better way to do it.

11 All kinds of baby chat

If a baby talks to me during s3x, I think I can hit him.

12 “Can you pick up my phone?”

Oh yeah that’s something but I mean I don’t know I like my phone and all but I’m pretty sure there comes a time when you have to leave it on the bedside table or something.