She recall becoming enthusiastic regarding her marriage ceremony and thinking about how much she would look in my wedding gown. She knelt in front of the mirror two days before the wedding and questioned me, “Are you sure you’re going to do this?” “It’s now or never,” I told myself. Before we started dating, the man I married was my buddy for three months. He was there for me when I needed it most—while I was working on my master’s degree. I required financial assistance. I was afraid the number would frighten him when I informed him. “Come by tomorrow morning and collect it,” he added. I was there the next morning. He signed a check and slid it into my hand. “Pay your fees,” he urged. I added an extra GHC2000. Purchase something for yourself.”
He was present at my graduation. After my graduation, he threw a small celebration for me. My parents were present at the celebration. I introduced him to them, and he jokingly replied, “I’d be home shortly with a drink.” “It better be an expensive drink,” my father observed, “since this girl has her master’s now.” We were all laughing. He became acquainted with my father. He proposed months later, and I said yes, but I wasn’t sure whether I loved him. He appeals to me. He was a polite and thoughtful man, but did I feel a connection to him? When I told a friend about it, she questioned, “What don’t you like about him?” “His age,” I explained.
“He’s his age. He’s ten years my senior, and I feel like we’re from different planets ideologically.” “The way you are, you need a powerful man like him to compliment you,” my buddy said. Don’t worry about his age. You’ll always be youthful in his eyes, and that’s why he’ll adore you to the end.” My friend’s statement made logic. “Love needs time to blossom,” I reasoned. The most crucial aspect is that he is a good man.”
So I entered the marriage believing that love would blossom from his goodness. Ever since the wedding, I moved in with him, and just one week later, I realized I’d married the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. Yes, his age was still a concern, and it became much more so when I discovered he didn’t think the way I wanted my spouse to think. My alarm clock goes off at 5 a.m. I altered it to 4:30 a.m., but then I had to change it back to 4 a.m. All because the man I married did not see the need to assist me in any way. I would get up, prepare breakfast, iron his clothing, and give his food to him before he left for work. To fulfil all of these tasks, I had to get up early while he slept. When he required a warm bath, he would contact me and I would boil the water for him. Nothing is touched by his hand.
In his opinion, a male must provide while a woman performs the housework. I go to work in the same way that he does. I close at 5 p.m., exactly like him. His work ends when he returns home, but mine continues until I collapse and fall. I never imagined a man who could do everything. All I’ve ever wanted was a man who would go by the kitchen and strike up a conversation with me even if he didn’t help with the meal.
The gentleman who will love me so much that he will not let me waste away in the kitchen while he sits on the sofa and farts. That didn’t seem like too much to ask for. My old pals are no longer my pals. I didn’t provide them with any information indicating that they could do without me because I was married. But they never contacted me to inform me of anything. I see photographs of them having fun and visiting intriguing locations on Instagram. I invited them to invite me one day. I informed my spouse that I would go out with friends, and he agreed.
I departed at 4 p.m. “Won’t you come home and make evening meals?” he said a few minutes after 6 p.m. “There are meals in the fridge,” I explained. I even left some in the microwave to keep it fresh.” “A married lady shouldn’t be out this late,” he remarked. Arrive home before 7 p.m.
I arrived home at 8:30 p.m., but this dude was having none of it. What names did he not use to refer to my friends? Then he issued the final warning: “You’re married, so act like it.” You can’t be hanging out with those little females.” That was my final night out with my pals. But every Friday night, he’d arrive home after 10 p.m. If you asked him where he went, he would say, “I was with the boys, killing some tension.” He has boys, but I’m not allowed to have girls. He is free to stay out there as long as he wants, but I am unable to go out with my friends.
I used to sleep as long as I wanted on Saturdays when I was alone, but now, at exactly 5 a.m., he’ll touch me on the shoulder and say, “It’s morning.” As if I don’t know what the word “morning” means. “It’s morning, rise up and begin your task while the master sleeps,” he actually means. I’ll wash a ton of clothing while he’s still in bed. When he comes out of bed, the first thing he asks is, “Is breakfast ready?”
Whenever I stared at him, I wondered, “Is that all marriage meant to him?” A lady to serve him while he parades around like a demi-god?” So I asked him, “Can you help around here occasionally?” Lift a cup for me, cook your own meals, and occasionally boil your own warm water for a bath. Those little details alleviate some of the stress.” “That’s why I married you,” he explained. A man cannot accomplish the work of a woman.” So many things are keeping me up at night these days. While he snores, I lie awake thinking about my regrets and wishing I had the fortitude to cancel things. Everything has been five months and I’m exhausted, so how long and how far can I go with an already fatigued heart? The love I imagined could flourish never took root. His insensitive approach toward me has gradually wiped away the gentle guy label I had for him. I’d be sleepy yet unable to sleep since something or someone had to keep me up.
I know my friends and I miss being myself—the person who lived life on her own terms and hoped for a man who might understand. This dude here isn’t even trying. He’s not even attempting to befriend me. ” Come out with me once in a while. “I need to get some fresh air,” I informed him. “We’re not going there to flaunt spouses as trophies,” he explained. It’s all about males. “There is no woman.”
What can transform a man with this mindset?
It’s too early to change anything, and it’s too early to make a choice, but water will rise to its normal level when the time comes. Nothing will stop me from making a decision that would liberate me and fill my heart with delight when that moment arrives. It’s only a matter of time.
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